***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
