honey bunches of taint.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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