Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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