This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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