I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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