If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
