They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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