doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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