just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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