i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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