Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
