the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Can you bring me the toilet please
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
