Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
