Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
