his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
