Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
