Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize
