Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Randomize
