my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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