the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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