nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Four minutes until I can fart!
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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