Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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