Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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