So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Randomize
