he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
