Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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