My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
