At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
