So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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