I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
