Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
