sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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