RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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