yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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