just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
And then he peed in my hair
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