Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
