I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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