from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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