Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
