sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
