i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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