the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
there was a trapeze. enough said
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
