I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
