i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
He felt like a one man threesome
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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