Already got asked if we're dating
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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