So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
