Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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