i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
