What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
