you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
there's paper in my vomit.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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